Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.

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(443): View more from Maryland

The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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(304): View more from West Virginia

my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.

(404): View more from Georgia

We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.

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(281): View more from Texas

Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.

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(303): View more from Colorado

im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality

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(312): View more from Illinois

My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice

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