don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
