I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
