Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
