dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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