Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
