please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
