Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
