he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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