dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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