Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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