If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize