I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
