but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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