There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize