Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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