he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
