Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize