I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
