I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
