I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
