She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its not stalking. its research.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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