Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do herpes really smell.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
