i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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