the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
