the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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