my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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