my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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