Can Purell be used as lube?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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