you traded sex for a burrito?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
All I want is dick and wine.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
