he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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