the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
