Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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