I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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