And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
