we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
