maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My feet surprised me
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