Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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