i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Randomize
