This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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