So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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