It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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