There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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