theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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