He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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