actually, I'm a sock model
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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