He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
