Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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