i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
