Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv

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(914): View more from New York

I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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(217): View more from Illinois

he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I think I just sharted jello shots

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