I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
