Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
