I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
