Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think your dad took our porno
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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