that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.