So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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