oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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