Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
