if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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